March 22nd 2026

Spilling out my mouth: LONER

You asked why women give me this panic type response. I thought about it basically all day and the only real conclusion I can come to is that it's you. I've been making friends, I've been talking to people and connecting with them, I've been vulnerable and still they don't compare to you. I have this terrible premonition that I could die. This flirting stage of sapphic desire reminds me too much of you for my tiny litle heart to bear. I get excited that someone like you could happen to me again, and I must remind myself that I am on purpose. I remind myself that I on purpose, I continue to be on purpose, over and over and over because you keep asking me to get it through my thick skull. My head is so soft for everything but this one statement you've tried to get inside me 1000 times.

I've stopped being lonely, and now I miss you, the unique you. The you that I can't see. I can't get rid of you. I won't get rid of you.